Two Ears and One Mouth
James 1:19-20 (NRSV)
19 You must understand this, my beloved;] let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger; 20 for your anger does not produce God’s righteousness.
When I was about 14 years old, I made a new friend at church. I’ll call her “Tammy” because it is a small world these days. Tammy and I began to spend a good bit of time together at church, but I had not yet met her parents. One Sunday morning she and I were sitting next to each other in the worship service, kind of acting like teenagers, whispering and giggling. I happened to notice a man sitting in front of me who I didn’t recognize. From the back, his ears seemed to stick out crazily like some kind of added on radar equipment, surely not original God-issued ears. It struck me as funny, so I did what most any 14-year-old might do. I leaned over and whispered to Tammy, “Look at that man’s ears!” I bet 99% of you reading this can predict what happened next. Yes, this man was Tammy’s father. And you know what? I pretty much knew this to be the case in my heart of hearts the minute I started talking. Here are the facts: I didn’t know Tammy’s parents. I didn’t know the man in front of me. This was a very small church and I knew almost everyone else in the sanctuary at the time. The chances were really good that this would be her dad. But somehow, against all reason, my lips kept moving and the words came out anyway, even with this deep sense of knowing somewhere solid in my gut.
I can guarantee you this was not the first time, nor the last, that I said something really stupid I instantly wished I could take back. But as my mother always warned me, you can never take back hurtful words. You can apologize and express your sorrow in all sorts of ways, but words spoken are…out there. It is like trying to put toothpaste back in the tube, it just won’t happen. The ability to share our opinion is a God-given privilege and should really be regarded as such. I have learned a lot about that over the years, mostly because I have messed up so often! As my husband always tried to teach our boys: “God gave us two ears and one mouth. Use them proportionately.”
The book of James says a lot about listening, the words we say, our tendency to anger easily, the “tongue” as the most powerful muscle in the human body! I think these are good words for us to ponder these days, especially the part about anger. I see so much “righteous indignation” out there these days, but I am not sure it is in proportion to the amount of listening and understanding that is being practiced. How much of our “listening” actually leads to thinking, careful consideration and an attempt at measured understanding? Listening is so much more than waiting for another person to stop talking or making a comment on social media as soon as we have formed an opinion. And what about searching for truth? I fear it is way too easy to hit a “share” button with little consideration to the veracity of what we are passing on. We might all read James 3 before we sign on to social media these days and spend moments in prayer before we pass on something we have read (remember Paul’s words to the Philippians: Is it honorable, is it just, is it excellent, is it praiseworthy?) When God inspired James to write this epistle, James didn’t know about Facebook and Instagram and Twitter, but whatever form of communication we put out into the universe is indeed spoken word and is as surely a product of our “tongue” as a conversation we might hold around our dinner table...or in the case of most social media, much more like announcing it from our rooftop with a megaphone! I am learning the power of scrolling past a conversation that drives me to want to pull my hair out, turning off the television when I have switched between news channels trying to decide which of the ones I am hearing reflects the real world in which I live—if any? The technology that allows us to communicate with each other has come lightyears toward bringing the world together since James wrote these words that have survived some 2000 years, but their relevancy to today drives home the inspiration of the Holy Spirit that has surely allowed them to live on as God’s word to those who wish to be wise.
God gave us each two ears—beautiful ears, unique ears, some that may even lead the 14-year-old behind us to giggle unbecomingly. Forgive her—she is only 14 and will think of this moment with regret later. Let us listen deeply, consider carefully, respond slowly and prayerfully and speak with as much truthfulness and kindness as we can muster. Anger? There is a time and a place for righteous indignation, but there is much wisdom in making that strong exception only when all fruitful communication has been practiced! May we as God’s people set an example in the thoughtful and measured words we put out into the universe! And when all else fails, just scroll past a troublesome comment or turn off the television or radio and let our hearts listen for words God’s spirit might drop into a place of our deep receptiveness. Blessings on your beautiful ears—and heart today!
Oh, Lord, give me ears to hear and a heart to listen and forgive me for words rashly spoken. Give to me and my friends the wisdom to speak only that which is true and helpful and the wisdom to swallow any hurtful words that so long to be spoken by our less godly selves. In the glorious and wise name of Jesus we pray! Amen.
In His Name,
Rev. Laura Parker
